piano man

Evan: "Doesn't look good for this guy."

#11, Evan

GOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!

(The Black Knights lost, by the way, 7-2. Now where was I? Oh yes: GOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!)

the most disgusting post that will ever appear on this blog

Sage: "What if I tooted in my own face?"

Evan: "You'd need a tube to do that."

standards

Eric: "What lullaby would you like to hear?"

Sage: "I want to sing you a lullaby."

Eric: "Oh, good. What are my choices?"

Sage: "You can have 'ABCD,' 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' or 'I Hate Being an Alligator.'"

thinking ahead

Evan: "When I die in like 30 years -- or, wait, in a long, long time, when I'm really old -- will you bury me King Tut-style?"

it's hard being Evan

Evan: "I can do a pretty good impersonation of myself: Heeeyyyy. How's it goin'?"

Eric: "Actually, that doesn't sound like you at all."

Evan: "Yeah, you're right."

fire ants

"I got some more pepper for my ant traps. Remember the ant traps I invented? They kill ants by giving them heartburn."