a joke for Labor Day weekend

Evan: "I have to tell you a funny joke: What's a parent's bad dream?"

Eric: "What?"

Evan: "They're alone at the bus stop at night. The lights have burnt out. They sense something creeping up behind them. They turn around. And it's their BOSS! And their boss says, 'You're fired!'"

Eric: "That's great! Did you just make that up?"

Evan: "Yeah. You should tell it to your boss."

and the reception...

Here are Evan and Sage with second cousins Ella and Charlotte Brown:

And Evan, pondering the institution of marriage and its importance to our society:

the wedding...

a ham is born

On Grandma Sue's side of the family there's a group of six first cousins that includes a doctor, a minister, and a professional photographer. The services of all three were required on the weekend of Grandma Sue's wedding (Gavin, the doctor, came to the rescue when Evan sprayed bug repellent directly into his own eye). Here's some of the fantastic handiwork of Katie, the photographer. First, the rehearsal:

I'm gonna have to get back to you on that

Evan: "Tony at Boys & Girls Club knows a baby whose first word was the f-word."

Sonja: "Oh."

Eric: "Ah."

[excruciatingly long pause]

Evan: "What's the f-word?"

brush with greatness

There are few things Evan likes less than brushing his teeth. Every night he sticks the toothbrush in his mouth and grudgingly chews on it, grimaces and stomps his feet while we have a version of the following exchange:

Evan: "Can I rinse and spit?"

Eric: "You just started brushing. Get your top back teeth."

Evan: "When can I rinse and spit?"

Eric: "Stop talking. Keep brushing. That means moving the toothbrush. Get your top back teeth."

Evan: "Aaaahhhh. Stop talking!"

Eric: "No. You stop talking and brush. Get your smile teeth."

Evan: "Can I rinse and spit?"

Eric: "You make this last much longer than it has to by talking so much."

Evan: "Aaaahhh. Stop talking!"

Eric: "Get your top back teeth."

Tonight I was instructing him to get up on his little stool at the sink so that we could begin this ritual once again. But for some reason I said "platform" instead of "stool." This gave me the idea of trying to motivate him by pretending that tooth-brushing was an Olympic event.

Eric: "All right. He's showing good form on the bottom teeth. The judges are nodding approvingly. If he remembers to get the top back teeth, he'll be solidly in medal contention."

Evan: "Can you stop talking? You're distracting me."

Eric: "If I stop talking, how will you know whether you medaled or not?"

Evan: "Can I rinse and spit?"

media criticism

Katie Couric: "That's the precocious Sasha Obama, who at the age of four, at her father's swearing-in to the U.S. Senate, gave Dick Cheney a high-five."

Evan: "This is weird."

"You can do it, Daddy."*

Sage: "I'm having a bad day!"

Eric: "I'm sorry sweetie. I'll read you a story."

Evan: "Don't use all your sympathy on her."

*Title of this post supplied by Sage, who saw me struggling to come up with something clever

smooth

Sonja: "Uh-oh, here's some spilled smoothie on the table."

Evan: "Yeah. Sage Sage-ified it."

Sonja: "No, actually, Evan, this is your spill."

Evan: "But Sage does Sage-ify things. You can't say that's not true."

the cookie speaks

Eric: "Sage, you are a smart little cookie."

Sage (laughing): "And you a smart little apple."

Evan: "You mean a smart BIG apple."

Sage: "No, my Daddy a tiny apple."

white weddings, Black Widows

Sonja's brother Chris got married this weekend. When Evan saw the lovely bride, Mary, in her wedding dress for the first time, he said, "She looks like she's taking a bubble bath." At the reception, Evan, Aidan and their new friend Noah teamed up to form the Black Widows breakdancing crew. Here they are, resting up to throw down:

Aidan in the house:

Evan, en fuego:

By the end of the night, Evan's transformation from 6-year-old kid into disaffected hipster was complete:

spice cream

Evan reported this exchange:

Evan: "Sage, can I have a bite of your ice cream?"

Sage: "Oh no Evan. It's too spicy for you."

the happy couple

Evan and Sage served as ring bearer and flower girl in Grandma Sue's wedding this past weekend.







Sage fell asleep midway through the ceremony (her wedding gift to Grandma Sue, we said). At the reception we just stretched her out on a couch. Evan came by a while later and stuck a name tag on her belly.

I can't prove she's not

Evan: "Do you think Sage might be the president of all the babies in the world? I mean, like, secretly."

he may be watching too much TV

Evan: "We should get Mott's juice. It has 30 percent less sugar than regular juice and no artificial sweeteners."

roger that

Evan (petting Franklin the Cat): "Who do you think is Franklin's best friend?"

Eric: "Hmm. Probably you."

(fairly long pause)

Evan: "I think Franklin just nodded."

stars & bars

Evan (drawing on his art pad): "I'm making a flying jail... the ultimate cool thing."

don't try this at home

This evening Sage was walking around in the front yard wearing only her underwear, saying "I'm a good girl. I'm a beautiful girl."