plant-eaters vs. ham-eaters II

This is a detail from one of Evan's "set-ups." "This one's a vegetarian and he's eating cabbages," he says. "And this one's a meat eater and he's eating a pig."

learning environment

You know your car needs a wash when you find your son doing math on it.

your guess is better than mine

Evan: "What's Boden's last name?"

Sage: "I don't know. Hot Dog?"

self-awareness

Evan: "It's kind of weird how Franklin is smaller than me but also older, and more responsible."

HKD

Sage: "Did you know today is Kansas Week?"

Eric: "Oh, that's right, Sage. Today is Kansas Day."

Sage: "Yeah!"

Eric: "Happy Kansas Day!"

Sage: "You're welcome!"

slow news day

Sage: "I want to watch 'Alice in Wonderland'."

Evan: "We can't watch 'Alice in Wonderland' because it skips."

Sage: "No it doesn't. Because I watched the news and they said somebody was watching 'Alice in Wonderland' and it wasn't skipping."

christmas gift

Today Sage recited much of "The Night Before Christmas" in the car on the way home from school. She went all the way from the beginning through "Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash" before asking for a prompt, at which point Evan yelled, "SAGE IS NATURALLY GIFTED!"

soy franklin

Evan: "Franklin's like a big pack of soybeans that moves all around."

the self-dribbling basketball

Evan (bouncing up and down): "I'm naturally programmed to bounce up and down when I'm excited, even if I don't want to."

staying on message

Evan: "Sage, you're not allowed to destroy any of my stuff while I'm gone."

Eric: "Evan, I don't think that's..."

Evan: "And if you do, Mommy and Daddy will make sure you receive an appropriate punishment."

jurassic pork

Sage is learning about dinosaurs in junior pre-k. Today she told us there were two kinds, "the ones that ate plants and the ones that ate ham."

not-so-simple simon

Sage:

"Simon says touch your lips to your nose."

"Simon says paint that door."

"Simon says touch your ear to your other ear."

everyone's a critic II

Sage: "It's a picture of me!"

Eric: "Wow, that's so good Sage! What are all the little lines coming out from your arms?"

Sage: "Those are my fingers!"

Eric: "Oh! It looks like you've given yourself a few more fingers than you actually have."

Evan: "She's three! Stop criticizing her!"

more legos than exposed carpet

Eric: "This is the messiest room I've ever been in."

Evan: "Everyone's a critic."

problem solved

Dad picked Sage up from school today. He reported this exchange:

Sage: "What's that?"

Granddad: "Oh, that's just some bird poop."

Sage: "Why is there bird poop on your car?"

Granddad: "Well, I probably parked under a tree, and then a bird that was in the tree pooped and it landed on my car."

Sage: "You shouldn't park under trees."

heart attack

Sage: "Daddy, when I grow up I'm going to have a better car than you."

Eric: "Good! You'll have to give me rides."

Evan: "It'll probably be a flying car, because that'll be in the future."

Sage: "NO! It will NOT be a flying car! It will have PRINCESSES AND HEARTS ON IT!"

look daddy, no hands

"Come see how I'm brushing my teeth."

rudeboy

new subdivision

Evan: "Close the door so the cops don't find out about Secret Villain Town."

i'm honored

Evan: "C'mon, Daddy. You're one of my evil associates."

versatile

McCall: "I have a bathroom in my pocket. It's a Transformer bathroom. I have a Transformer bathroom pocket."

i may try live-blogging this game of Diagon Alley

Aubrey: "We're going to haunt the world with evil."

it's loud in here

Evan, Sage, McCall, Aubrey, Avery and Nathan are "playing Diagon Alley." I just heard Evan say, "I'm Dracula's brother-in-law."

double trouble

"One good thing about not being twins is that Sage and I don't argue too much. Twins probably argue all the time: 'Stop copying me.'"

Sage's koan of the day

"Do potatoes get married?"

just the facts

Evan: "More water."

Eric: "Can you ask nicely?"

Evan: "Um-hmm."

let me rephrase that

Sage: "I love you Daddy."

Eric: "I love you too, Sage."

Sage: "But I was just screaming."

Eric: "That's okay. I love you even when you're screaming."

Sage: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"