ghost trackers

Evan may one day make an actual episode of a show, but for now his preferred genre is the opening credits.

the giving tree

Evan: "Man, that's the second time that tree has hurt me! It makes me want to saw off that branch and cut it up into little pieces, then turn the pieces into pulp, then turn the pulp into paper and scribble all over the paper and then crumple the paper up and throw it in the toilet and flush the toilet!"

the truth fairy

Evan: "I hope the Tooth Fairy brings me five dollars."

Eric: "Whoa. Sounds like you think there's been some serious inflation since you lost your last tooth."

(Pause.)

Evan: "Just hand over the money."

i'd had a week to prepare for this question

Evan: "Guess what I'm going to do when I wake up on the first morning of summer vacation."

Eric: "What?"

Evan: "Dance around the house. Duh."

there's a party going on right here

In the car, on the way to school...

Evan: "Are you on summer vacation now?"

Eric: "Pretty much. Yep."

Evan: "Will you do me a favor while you're at home today?"

Eric: "Sure. What is it?"

Evan: "Dance around the house."

here's the beef

Sage: "What would you like to order, sir?"

Eric: "Hmm. Do you have any specials today?"

Sage: "Just the 10-pound cheeseburger."

Eric: "Wow. Do you have something a little lighter than that?"

Sage: "The 9-pound cheeseburger."

shoot the messenger

Sage (caught in a lie): "It wasn't my fault. It was my mouth's fault."

circular reasoning

Sage: "What are you doing?"

Eric (taking a cloverleaf exit ramp from one highway to another): "I'm taking a shortcut."

Sage: "You realize you're going around in a circle."