you'd think i would remember that

Sage: "Once I had a sneeze that was so loud that Auntie Meghan texted Mommy to say 'Gesundheit.'"

slow news month

Sorry.

Evan (telling on his sister): "Sage is drinking water like a dog!"

watching "The Black Stallion"

Eric: "The boy's all alone on that beach. How's he going to survive?"

Evan: "He could eat the horse."

ghost trackers

Evan may one day make an actual episode of a show, but for now his preferred genre is the opening credits.

the giving tree

Evan: "Man, that's the second time that tree has hurt me! It makes me want to saw off that branch and cut it up into little pieces, then turn the pieces into pulp, then turn the pulp into paper and scribble all over the paper and then crumple the paper up and throw it in the toilet and flush the toilet!"

the truth fairy

Evan: "I hope the Tooth Fairy brings me five dollars."

Eric: "Whoa. Sounds like you think there's been some serious inflation since you lost your last tooth."

(Pause.)

Evan: "Just hand over the money."

i'd had a week to prepare for this question

Evan: "Guess what I'm going to do when I wake up on the first morning of summer vacation."

Eric: "What?"

Evan: "Dance around the house. Duh."