In the car, leaving Topeka:
On the highway to the airport:
"Lincoln was killed by LeBron Booth."
"Hey Sage, remember when I taught you how to hail me? HAIL EVAN! HAIL EVAN!"
In the airport, after waiting half an hour to learn that we were going to miss our connecting flight:
"The great thing about being a kid is that you don't understand all the bad stuff that's happening."