i wonder what the record was for

Evan: "What's the Naked Wheelie?"

Eric: "What?"

Evan: "The Naked Wheelie."

Eric: "I have no idea. Where did you hear about it?"

Evan: "In the Guinness Book of World Records. I think it's a big parade where people cover themselves in body paint and ride around on bicycles."

Sonja: "Oh, like the solstice parade. That was something they did in Seattle. I don't think they have one of those in Topeka."

Evan: "What's a solstice parade?"

Sonja: "That's people celebrating the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, like ancient people did."

Evan: "By riding around naked on bicycles?"

this actually happened

I had some trouble helping Sage get dressed, because I didn't do a good enough job of convincing her that she had actually picked out the matching clothes I'd picked out for her.

Sage: "It's my day today, so we're going to do what I want."

Eric: "Whoa! I, me, mine."

Sage: "I'm not being mean."

Eric: "No, you're not being mean, but you are acting a little self-centered."

Sage: "I'm not acting self-centered!"

She then put on her princess tiara and stomped out of the room.

repurposing

This evening Evan noticed that the top of a large acorn looked a lot like a tiny beret. "If I find a squirrel who likes to paint, I'm going to put this on him," he said.

bugtown: a guided tour

Evan's directorial debut

right again

Eric: "Sage, do you remember what makes a monkey different from an ape?"

Sage: "It has a different name."

contingencies

Evan: "I'm going across the street to see if Nathan wants to come over and play."

Eric: "Okay."

Evan: "If I don't come back, I've either been abducted by aliens or Nathan's invited me to play over there."

the seafood lover in you

Sonja: "Did you know that Evan said he loves his toy stuffed lobster as much as he loves me?"

Eric: "Evan, that's a terrible thing to say to your mother, who made you with her body. Can you rephrase that, please?"

Evan: "Okay, I love my lobster almost as much as I love you."

Sonja: "Maybe you'd better just start over tomorrow."

Evan: "Okay. I love my lobster a lot, but not as much as I love you, Mommy. No offense, Lobster."

Sage: "EVAN, SAY THAT YOU HATE THE LOBSTER!"

choose your weapon