killing me softly

Evan: "Daddy, Sage killed a beetle!"

Sage: "No I didn't! I just kind of killed it lightly!"

foolproof

Evan: "If your parents try to force you to clean your room, you can just refuse, and then they'll confiscate all your toys, and then your room will be clean, and then you can say, 'Okay, fine, I'll clean my room,' and then they'll give all your toys back, but they'll put them in the toy boxes, and your room will still be clean."

Ethan said it

The other day I was talking to Evan's friend Ethan while he munched on a couple of cereal bars -- one blueberry, one strawberry (remember that detail) -- in our kitchen:

Eric: "I just can't get over it. If you look at the 1962 Topeka High yearbook you'll see your grandmother and Evan's grandfather. And if you look at the 1990 Topeka High yearbook you'll see your mom and me. And now I look out my window and see you and Evan, born seven days apart, playing together. It's three generations of friends in our families. Really cool, really amazing."

[Pause.]

Ethan: "I think blueberry is my favorite."

answered and asked

Eric: "Oooooh. Did Mommy say you'd get a trip to Toys R Us if you did a good job cleaning up?"

Evan: "You don't think I'm folding laundry for fun, do you?"

I may know too much

This was how I found our dining room yesterday. In unrelated news, there's been a strange van parked across the street for the past week.

playing to his strengths

Evan: "You're really good at throwing and catching, Daddy. And I'm really good at kicking and screaming."

Hobo Dance (Chase Me)

I really don't know what to say about this.

even lullabies are better with bacon

Eric (singing): "In the early morning rain... with a dollar in my hand... with an achin' in my heart..."

Sage (singing): "With some bacon in my heart..."

Eric: "And my pockets full of sand..."

Sage: "And my pockets full of ham..."

you heard it here first

Sage: "My pants whapped the lights out."

afterlife

Eric: "Evan, what did I just say to you?"

Evan (eating Cinnamon Life cereal): "You said that when I'm done with my Life -- which sounded kind of wrong -- I need to put my soccer gear on."

they're coming

Evan's friend Skylar has introduced him to Garage Band. Stay tuned for "Electric Smoothie," the debut single from the local band The British.

Sage chases fireflies (subplot: Roosevelt chases a ghost that's chasing Evan)

recital (pronounced "wreck-it-all" by their instructor)

in the kangaroo's pouch at Gage Park

born on the 4th of July

Sage: "Evan wants to do everything himself."

Evan: "That's because I'm independent."

Sage: "I'm independent!"

Evan: "I'm more independent than you."

Eric: "Hey. Hey. Not everything has to be a competition."

Evan: "Yeah, but this does."

silent film stars

Kids are funny. Kids trying to be funny are not, usually, funny. But kids trying to be funny, recorded without sound? Surprisingly funny.

floored

Evan: "Check out my luxury house. You can rent it for $50 a day. It even has a little disco floor over here."

Eric: "Oh yeah -- kind of a parquet floor."

Evan: "It's more of a par-tay floor."

mar(tin)itime

Evan: "And this is the cop boat. Couple of officers on it."

Eric: "What's that officer holding?"

Evan: "Martini."

Eric: "I'm not sure he should be having a martini while he's on duty."

Evan: "Well he's not driving the boat."

dibs on the book title

Evan: "What if it was the Three Muskrateers? Like, 'We're armed and dangerous, with muskrats!'"