i'm not a parent, apparently

Sage: "Can we watch TV?"

Sonja: "No, Sage, you watched a lot of TV yesterday. No TV this morning."

Sage: "Daddy, when Mommy goes on her run, can you sneak upstairs and turn on the TV for us?"

after the party, Evan helps tidy up

Evan: "Can I have a glass of Coke? Because, you know, we've got all this Coke left over, and we need to get rid of it.... Can't just have it lying around...."

Dr. No

Sonja: "What kind of musical activities should we sign you up for, Evan? You could learn to play the violin, the piano. There are choirs you could join, for singing. What kind of music are you interested in?"

Evan: "Umm... James Bond theme music."

Sonja: "Well, that's interesting music to listen to, but I'm asking what kind of music you're interested in making."

Evan: "Beat-boxing."

book 'em

Eric: "What did you play over at the Beall girls' house?"

Evan: "We played espionage up in their attic for a long time, and then we came down and played library."

Eric: "You played library?"

Evan: "Yeah. Sage was the librarian, and Bannon was the mean second librarian, and Ann was the storyteller, and I was security, and McCall was just a person visiting the library. And a robber."

burp, memory

Evan: "Remember when you came by my classroom after the first-grade musical to say hi, and all the kids kind of gathered around you because you're so tall?"

Eric: "Oh yeah. That was cool."

Evan: "And Mohammed wore his glasses after that. He never wanted to wear his glasses all year, because he thought they made him look bad. But after he saw how tall you were and saw you wearing glasses, he thought glasses made him look cool."

Eric: "Wow. I didn't know that. That's great. Mohammed was a real character. I liked him a lot."

Evan: "Yeah. Except he burped in my face one time."

speak no evil

Evan: "The problem with comic books is that whenever the bad guys capture the superheroes, they always tell them what their new evil invention is."

mondegreen

Grandma Sue: "Bon appetit!"

Sage: "Go up and eat!"