self-portrait in a concave mirror

sensitivity training

I referred to the Abominable Snowman today and Evan corrected me: "They prefer to be called Yetis."

all wet

Evan: "I don't see what's so great about Aquaman. There aren't that many crimes that happen underwater."

The Sonja Lisa

what Sage's stuffed horse has been named

1. Sandy
2. Cucumber
3. Cucumber Sandy
4. Sandy
5. Airplane

Evan will insist that I delete this post

It's no secret that Evan likes to read in the bathroom. He takes a stack of books in with him and doesn't emerge for 45 minutes. Today he said, "I bet if you added up all the time I spend reading on the potty and all the time I spend reading in other places, the potty would win." I told him that was a good place to read. "Yeah," he said. "It's quiet. No one would dare to go in there."

tombstone pizza

This is Evan's Play-Doh haunted cemetery. If you look closely, you can make out some small crosses, a huge spider, a witch reclining on a rock, a skeleton, and a giant piece of pizza.

"I'm obsessed with suing her."

That's how Evan feels about Mrs. Bryant, the awful babysitter we had when I was in kindergarten. He also thinks we should find out where she lives and either TP her house or "DJ" her house. The latter, he says, would involve "having a dance party in her front yard and showing holograms of her doing really embarrassing things."

public service announcement

charity begins at someone else's home

Evan: "Can we get a toy at Walgreen's?"

Eric: "Evan, you've already got so many toys that we can barely walk through the house. We need to be thinking about gathering up some of your toys and giving them to kids who don't have as many."

Evan: "That's a terrible idea."

Sage: "You mean give Bunny away?"

Eric: "No, we're not going to give Bunny away. We're not going to give away any of your favorite toys. I'm talking about the ones at the bottoms of the toy bins, the ones that you never play with."

Evan: "The ones at the bottoms of the bins are there for safety, because they're extra-special to us."

Eric: "That's not true, Evan. You must have a thousand toys and you don't play with a lot of them. And there are kids in the world who don't even have one toy because they can't afford it."

Evan: "Well that kid would have no idea how to play with a toy, so it's no use giving it to him."

tough act to follow

Evan: "I wrote a sequel to 'The Worst Play Ever.' It's called 'Bucket of Fried Chicken.'"

quiet around here

Evan has been at Disney World with his grandparents for the past week. Tonight they called to check in. We asked Evan what he'd been up to. He said that today he had been to the Magic Kingdom and Epcot, and had realized that Caribbean islands sound like people's names: Jim Aica. Martin Ique. Barb Ados.

false alarm

We find this sort of thing all the time. Evan likes to pretend our house is more interesting than it is.

Evan Art Co.

Evan's skylines still tend to have Space Needles in them:

fast track

Evan can't wait to get his own synthesizer, so that he can start making his own electronic music, so that he can become a famous musician, so that he can get a fan letter from Adam Young of Owl City, so that he can tell Adam Young that it was Owl City that first inspired him to make electronic music.